An Empty Facade

Between Me and You

I wanna love....i would be lying if i kept putting this front up. Truthfully at times i hurt. Because i don't see in me what you see! I know in my mind that i have so much to give. To be honest i give way too much. This strong and well put together facade has masked my hurt but yet my insecurites seep through. I look around and hate my envy i feel towards some who's grass seems much greener. Thinking logically i know its not but because my HEART bleeds optimism i fall for the head over heels false sense of physical momentary satisfaction... YALL I FALL HARD! everytime...i'm sad to say there's no in between in me!

My facade is a lie so let me tell yall the honest me:

~I'm extremely EMOTIONAL
~At times VERY sensitive
~My eyes water when i feel insecure
~I choose MEDIOCRE men because i feel empowered while with them
~I'm afraid of my match
~I've always paid on a date
~I've never truly been loved
~I'm goofy
~I'm clumsy
~I wear mix-matched pajamas
~I love romantic movies
~I hatebeing vulnerable
~I cheat not b/c i want to but because i'm always insecure in the relationship
~I don't believe that someone could TRULY love me as much as i love them

My facade supersedes FALSE... alot of these qualities i portray deep in my heart! i blame none of my insecurites on others...because i've had the chance to decide i want better with every encounter of my life! I'm not looking for a man to take on my insecurities and problems..they're things that i have worked on and still continue to work on til this day. I simply want "HIM" to accept me as i am...

KARINA PASIAN "SLOW MOTION", "why can't i love you in slow motion, take my time, take away the pressure, off my mind....really get to know you and REWIND...i wanna love you in slow motion, why can't i"..

I no longer want to hide who i am...nor pretend to not wanna call you when i do. nor pretend to not wanna hold you when i do...nor to pretend to not wanna spend all day with you when i do...i want to LOSE this facade with someone who will love "EVERY INCH, EVERY CURVE, AND EVERY FRECKLE of MY SKIN"....I'm tired of mediocracy so today i choose to want more for myself....and Kill this EMPTY FACADE.

~Intimately MalissaRenee~