How I Choose to Remember U.............

I can't help but imagine....where u are right now...or what your doing at this exact moment, but i can choose to imagine a beautiful you, mixed with a complicated us that ended in a detrimental me!! All those things now prove to be vacant as the timer on us became due.......but from this day forward i wanna choose to Remember a Beautiful U :)


Then

I can remember the day we met....it was as if time stopped in the middle of the walkway as i watched u pursue me. A woman with confidence i never gave it any thought...i just laughed at ur coy sense of humor and continued to walk. U followed....and i became more intrigued as the days grew longer i wasted no time in my lustful nature rapidly inviting u to tend to my needs. It was casual......yeah no big deal but that night changed my life and it continues still. My mind never became in sync with my heart as a matter of fact they grew further and further apart. Every night was kept with hope in my heart as u wrapped ur arms tightly around my body i became more enthralled.

Someone once told me to be cautious with Love......at one moment i was but i soon forgot. I began to slip into loving ways and blissful days. Ur wants now became my needs and no other words needed to be said. You see....i fooled u but u never fooled me. I knew ur heart and u knew my possibility which made our situation rather interesting. Vulnerability crept all over me as u stuck to the previous arrangement that was a guarantee. I guess i thought u would forget that first day and ur love would grow with me.....but i realized much sooner than later that i created a catastrophe. I fell in love with the person u are......and i know in my heart u fell in love with the person that I am. Our hearts both lied....b/c neither one of us could stand the obstacles foreseen to bare.

Heartbreak quickly rushed in my door. A hurt that engulfed my stomach, and captured my breath to store. What do i do with how i feel....u quickly replaced my affection with a new heart ready to give love...Was i not  worthy enough? what was different about her? Or are u living a lie just as much as her....


Now

A cool rain drop fell on my nose and i smiled.....as breeze captured me in her breath i whirled. Like the feeling   of warmth in your heart on a frigid day...i become engulfed! I can remember that day in Hilton Head as i rolled down my window i felt the wind kiss my hand...i closed my eyes briefly and took in that moment....I can remember my tears being wiped away and an embraced that stayed for days...as i remember these things i remember LOVE.

I sat one day and watched a beautiful tree sway.....its leaves stay put...and its limbs danced in the air! The body of the tree never wavered and the roots were far from eye site to their labor. But what was interesting about that tree was that i never needed to see its roots to know its heart and purpose. Its love for the limbs and leaves proved so evident in its fluidity. I smiled that day......because i remembered a beautiful u. A beautiful man that made me smile from ear to ear, that made me feel safe in his arms, that did his best to comfort me....and that deep in his heart had LOVE 4 ME!

U see just like that tree i don't have to see your roots to know your HEART....i know what i feel and i know whats in my HEART...see even if this letter never gets read or u never feel 4 me how i felt for u......It's ALL OK...BECAUSE REGARDLESS OF THE YEARS TO COME....THIS IS HOW I'LL CHOOSE TO REMEMBER YOU :)

~Intimately MalissaRenee~